I need to write,
To wring out my day’s thoughts and feelings.
I wish I could communicate,
With people rather than a page.
I wish I could communicate.
Arguing politics or religion,
Debating mayo versus Miracle Whip,
Giving my honest opinions on the assets and faults of my favorite football team.
I wish I could get people to laugh and feel humor in return.
To tell someone a joke and feel proud when they laugh that I told it right.
To get a giggle and smile from someone having an otherwise bad day.
And to belly laugh in front of others without worry that the joke was at my expense.
But I don’t communicate because I am a chronic mis-reader of people.
I keep my opinions to me for fear of judgement from others.
Better to sit here with my non-judgmental paper and pen.
Better to keep things to myself, to just nod and smile.
Better to do that than to have it confirmed that no one cares at all.
I want to converse and communicate and be heard.
To not feel alone in a room full of people.
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